Published on: 14 February 2023

As part of our #TimeToTalk month, our Thrive team is sharing some supportive and helpful words, to remind us it's not always about flowers, chocolates and love...

For many of us, Valentine's Day can heighten feelings of isolation and loneliness. These can be difficult subjects to discuss, but the reality is that almost everyone may experience feelings of loneliness at some point in their lives. We hope that this Valentine’s Day we can each pay a little more attention to those around us who might be feeling lonely, and that however the day might make you feel, you can be that bit more mindful and connected to those around you, and perhaps celebrate that instead.

Valentine’s Day can also remind us to send messages of love to the special people in our lives, but we would like to propose a new tradition, why not use this day to start being kinder to ourselves. Being kind to yourself particularly during a difficult time is also known as self-compassion or self-love. It’s a simple concept - treat yourself as kindly as you would treat a friend who needs support. We tend to give compassion to others much more readily than we do ourselves but the great news is it can be learned and is a skill anyone can cultivate.

So we're sharing our top tips on managing loneliness and self-love...

Top tips for managing loneliness:

1. Reach out to those around you even if it’s just a phone call or a text, sometimes a friendly chat can make a big difference as you never know other people may be feeling lonely to and appreciate the effort you have made to reach out. 

2. Make new connections. Find a group with a shared interest. Think about activities that you would like to try out and look for groups centred around these for example the Wellbeing Walks (add link/info to wellbeing walks)

3. Do activities that bring you joy and a sense of personal wellbeing. These don’t have to be big or expensive it could be a cup of tea from your favourite cup or a nice relaxing bath.

4. Share your feelings with somebody you trust, this could be a loved one or professional wellbeing services such as Thrive, IAPT, Wellbeing HUB. Being able to talk about how you feel with others can help with loneliness.

Helpful links:

www.mind.org.uk/information-support/tips-for-everyday-living/loneliness/tips-to-manage-loneliness

www.nhs.uk/every-mind-matters/lifes-challenges/loneliness/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI0tmh2e6K_QIVB7TtCh073QvNEAMYASAAEgIKh_D_BwE

Top tips for practicing self-compassion:

1.    Try to gently challenge unkind thoughts about yourself. You might automatically put yourself down. If you find yourself doing this, it can help to ask: "Would I talk to a friend in this way?"
2.    Try saying positive things to yourself, such as “I am doing my best”, “I am good enough”, either out loud in front of the mirror or in your head.  You may even want to write them on a post it and put it somewhere as a visible reminder. It can feel strange at first, but you may feel more comfortable the more you do it.
3.    Practise saying no. Being assertive can be difficult if you're not used to it. But agreeing to too many things to please others can be draining. It could help to pause, take a breath and think about how you feel before agreeing to do something you don't want to.
4.    Try to avoid comparing yourself to others. For example, it might help to limit how much time you spend on social media or online communities. What other people often choose to share about their lives isn't always the full picture. Remember that many people may only share the good things happening to them on social media.

Helpful links:

www.actionforhappiness.org/self-compassion-chris-irons
www.self-compassion.org/category/exercises/#exercises

 

Remember, if you're struggling there is always support available. Visit our Thrive page for more information. 
 

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